its not stalking. its research.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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