haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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