A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
