My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
