He asked me if I "almost moaned"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
