Whod you bang
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
