Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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