White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
