no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
