it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
