problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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