he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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