I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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