1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize