Soap is not a condiment
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
