I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
