You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
