I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize