Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i already hear my dad disowning me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
