i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize