here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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