Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
