a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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