Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
