Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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