Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize