sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize