i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
