Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
