GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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