he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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