I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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