im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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