...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
