Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
