I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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