i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
