pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
