Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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