Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
