it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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