haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
