Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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