just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
