You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
