Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
