I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
