fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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