She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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