i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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