dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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