I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
