At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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