I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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