So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm both gender and math confused
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
