I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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