Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
