I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
