Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
