I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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