operation harelip BJ is a go
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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