yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's like iHOP with fire
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
