First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
