how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
