U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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