yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
