Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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