you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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