if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
