just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
