dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
