Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
