Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
