By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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