she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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