i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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