She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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