were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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